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Question:
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"Is this some kind of joke?" |
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Answer:
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No. |
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Question:
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"No, really... is this a joke?" |
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Answer:
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Well… sort of. But no more of a joke than most ballot initiatives. Yes, we really have filed the proposed initiative, and we really do intend to get this dog on the ballot. |
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Question:
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"But isn’t the text of this initiative rather mean-spirited and sophomoric?" |
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Answer:
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Have you been talking to my mother? |
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Question:
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"You have accused Tim Eyman of seeking self-aggrandizement and personal gain. But is that not, in fact, the sole motivation behind your own campaign?" |
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Answer:
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Absolutely not. Self-aggrandizement and personal gain are only two of the many motivations behind our campaign, some of which include:
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Question:
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"Aren't you just heaping ridicule on the initiative process?" |
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Answer:
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Oh, like Tim's I-807 doesn't? A two-thirds super-majority for tax and fee increases? Hell, you can't get 2 out of 3 people to agree on the weather (even in Seattle, where, quite frankly... it rains.) So what's not to ridicule? |
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Question:
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"But isn't the initiative process the purest form of democracy?" |
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Answer:
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Yeah, I guess that’s why our founding fathers established a republic. It would be total chaos if we put every tax increase, transportation project, teacher’s pay-hike, and miscellaneous what-not up for public plebiscite. Oh wait… that’s exactly what we have been doing. |
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Question:
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"Will you be hiring paid signature gatherers, or is this truly a grass roots campaign?" |
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Answer:
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Unlike Tim Eyman, we choose to take the moral highground by using only volunteer signature gatherers. Unless, of course, we happen to raise enough money to afford paid signature gatherers, in which case we'd be crazy not to join Tim down in the moral trenches. |
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Question:
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"Can you explain your "20% for Me" pledge?" |
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Answer:
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We pledge that no less than 20% of all donations will be diverted for personal gain, including: household expenses, car repairs, "consulting fees," and beverages. |
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Question:
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"Why the hell would I contribute money if you're just going to take a chunk of it for yourself?" |
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Answer:
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I don't know... Tim Eyman diverts even more--and lies about it--yet people keep giving him money. Besides, a 20% "overhead" isn't really all that much. |
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Question:
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"But your pledge states you'll divert no less than 20%. What prevents you from taking even more?" |
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Answer:
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Um... nothing. But unlike Tim, we're honest about it. |
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Question:
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"Your campaign literature mentions a 'really cool election night party.' Can you tell me what will make it so cool?" |
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Answer:
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No. That wouldn't be cool. |
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Question:
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"Will there be an open bar?" |
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Answer:
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That depends... how much have you donated? |
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Question:
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"Am I invited?" |
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Answer:
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(See previous answer.) |
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Question:
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"What is that brownish spot on Tim Eyman's forehead?" |
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Answer:
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I'm not sure, but I think he better get it looked at by a dermatologist. |
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Question:
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"Has anybody ever really asked any of these questions?" |
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Answer:
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Just this last one. |
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